Humor Blog Highlights

Toddler Refuses to Take His Nap Like This is Some Kind of Fucking Game

© julbik76 / Dollar Photo Club

Freeland, OH (Just Laugh) – Despite clocks around the Anderson household all citing the optimal time for two year-old Gerald Anderson to take his regularly scheduled afternoon break from consciousness, and against the firm advisement of his father figure, the youngest Anderson caused quite the ruckus today when he sought to protest his nap time by simply continuing to play with his Duplos, shrugging off their pleas for slumber as if he was the one in charge instead of them.

“I don’t know who the fuck that little shit thinks he is,” charged Daniel Anderson, Chief Dad and resident anger-monger of the family as he yelled into his cell phone outside of the conference room at the office, “but he’d better get his ass into that pirate ship bed and take his fucking nap or there’s going to be hell to pay when this pirate, err, I mean this man gets home!”

“It’s not his fault – he’s just going through a phase…” pleaded Amy Anderson with a sleepless desperation in her voice as she cowered in the corner of the bathroom. “Mommy just needs him to go to sleep for a while so that she doesn’t have to ask the doctor to up her Valium again.”

While his parents spoke of his delinquencies over the phone, two year-old Gerald paused from his building blocks momentarily to take another drink from his juicy cup, then briefly debated whether to continue work on his rocket ship or perhaps re-watch one of his favorite episodes of the Octonauts on TV. Eventually throwing caution to the wind, the child finally decided that he could in fact improve his productivity by both watching the Octonauts and building his space vessel at the same time, thus posing the question of just how much he could accomplish in a given day if he were to never lay down for his parental-imposed naps again.

About Scott Sevener (580 Posts since 2001)
The Co-Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Just Laugh, Scott writes about the random things in life that amuse him - from the miracle of childbirth to the bologna sandwich he just ate for breakfast. He currently resides in Tampa, FL with a girl, a baby, and a dog that never shuts the hell up.