There comes a time in every president’s term when he must ask himself – am I going to finally concede to my nepotism, my corruption, and my collusion with the Russian government that got me elected in the first place, or am I going to go out flailing and tweeting my inane bullshit until they finally drag me back to my golden tower in Manhattan that I probably should have never left in the first place???
As certain events have hinted that an avalanche of sorts may be rapidly barreling down the mountain, we’ve assembled a list of helpful tips to guide the rest of American “through this disaster” on to the light at the end of the shit storm that Donald Trump’s short-lived political career has been…
- DO make sure to take some time in advance to stretch your gloating muscles because it’s been a long three and a half months of … whatever the hell this was.
- DON’T start popping your popcorn just yet, as politicians have a way of drawing things out ad nauseam and nobody likes eating stale popcorn.
- DO be prepared to endure lots of waffling, and not the good kind of waffling that comes with copious amounts of syrup.
- DON’T forget to tip your waitress at Waffle House – she works hard for her money and tipping represents a significant portion of her income.
- DO try to avoid standing directly underneath the avalanche, as the deluge of Trump byproducts is likely to make quite the mess on its way down.
- DON’T be surprised if the USA doesn’t get a Christmas card from Russia this year.
- DO keep in mind that of everyone who will be affected by Donald Trump’s inevitable fall back to earth, your Republican uncle will likely take it the hardest of all, so be sure to show his feelings the same level of compassion and sympathy that he’s shown your cuck snowflake libtard ass since Trump was elected back in November.
- DON’T be sad – America will soon be able to look at itself in the mirror once again.