America Plans Romantic Autumn Picnic to Welcome Syrian Refugees

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AMERICA’S HEARTLAND (Just Laugh) – Through rising tensions among some in the wake of the horrible tragedies that took place in Paris less than a week earlier, America gave hints that it’s trying to put the ugly past behind and put its best foot forward today in the form of a lovely, romantic picnic set to showcase the changing colors that makes the autumn season so memorable and give its newest refugees seeking asylum from Syria’s bloody civil war a chance to relax and just enjoy the crisp, autumn air and a glass of freshly squeezed cider.

“We’ve picked out a few of my favorite passages that we thought we could read to them while they’re resting their weary feet…” the nation said somewhat excitedly as it arranged decorative gourds and an assortment of pastries for its guests. “You know, nothing too fancy – a few passages from Dickens and Hugo, or maybe we could just read a chapter or two from The Notebook … who can resist a little Nicholas Sparks on a day like today?!”

After the refugees are carefully screened by the United States’ Resettlement Support Center in a process that can take 18 – 24 months or longer, given heightened security concerns, they’ll find a delightful array of artisanal meats and cheeses, freshly picked fruit and vegetable platters, and a carefully vetted selection of fall accoutrements including garlic-infused sweet corn from Iowa and Montana’s award-winning huckleberry pie.

Weather permitting, other possible activities include a peaceful walk through the woods without the threat of insurgent gunfire and just staring up wistfully at the clouds as each shares their hopes and dreams for the future they’ll share together.