Humor Blog Highlights

One Click to a New You

HELLO, I don’t know if you can help me OR that your department does such things – I just came across it on the internet & would like to share with you if this is something that your department can use for publication OR topic of discussion BUT, would like to share my woes & findings on dating nowadays feel free to print publish OR use any part of this (see-below).

I can not speak for anyone else for whatever reasons they have placed singles ads OR what they are hoping to find from it — this is only my personal point of view — I myself have been out of the dating loop for quite sometime – it has been a few years BUT, I have been lucky enough OR fortunate enough that I have had some very good relationships with women in the past BUT, now some years later & some pounds heavier – I am finding out at least for me – the dating scene is a complete & total NIGHTMARE — in the hopes of finding love OR romance — I have placed ads at pretty much every singles & dating website on the internet — so far the experience has been nothing less than excruciatingly painful – 

The sad, cold, bitter truth is that, the ads I have gotten the most response from are those that I never included a picture of myself with — women have written to me in response to these ads on the fact of how much they truly loved my ad AND they would like to know if I could also send them a picture of myself — I do so and then – I never hear from them again – if I persist in writing to them to ask whatever had happened to them – I may only get the response to PLEASE never write them again — THERE can only be one reason for this — they did not find me to be an attractive looking man ———> 

— to be honest though I have never thought of myself as the elephant man – I have had a variety of women through my life flirt with me – even growing up, as a child & through the years – I have been hit on by quite a few of my Moms lady friends – SO, at least I know that there was at least one time in my life that I was found somewhat desirable ———- the bottom line is that NO woman ANYWHERE will EVER find a more loving, caring man anywhere BUT, I just feel that I am being judged by my looks OR lack of – 

IF only life could imitate art — I suppose I am just the BEAST looking for the beautiful PRINCESS – who, can see the good in my heart BUT, fairytales just do NOT come true.


A. Nonymous
East Anonymia


Savannah Says:

I don’t like to brag, but I must admit I’ve always been on the cutting edge of trends.  My finger just naturally rests on the pulse of society, I guess.

This week, dear readers, you will benefit from my trendspotting ability, because I’ve done it once again.  I’m the first to discover a new website so hip, so totally awesome, that I can’t believe it’s still a secret.  And I’m announcing its existence to the world right now, so you can all benefit from it.  It’s called “eBay,” and it’s an online auction website!

I discovered eBay this weekend.  Rothrock had passed ou…er, retired for the evening, so I amused myself by “surfing” the internet.  (That’s what we hip people call it when we travel from website to website.) eBay is a huge international marketplace.  I rummaged through Rock’s wallet until I found his gold card, and then I bought him 74 vintage umbrellas, a 1940s novelty tie, and some purplish show chickens.  He’ll be so surprised!

They also sell photographs, and that’s where you come in, Nonymous.  Simply go to eBay and purchase some more attractive pictures of “yourself.”  Problem solved!

Good luck, dear!

© 2000-2002 Elizabeth Hanes

About Savannah Lawless (16 Posts from 2001 - 2002)
Resident advice expert Savannah Lawless shares her wit and wisdom from eight marriages to five men and countless failed relationships coupled with a near-total lack of sobriety...