NEW YORK (Just Laugh) - After much searching by the Eintstein University for Poorly Working Craniums, the stupidest person on earth was revealed today. Ima Tard, originally claiming to be from Dakota, was named the stupidest person alive late this afternoon after taking the SATs (Stupidity Aptitude Test). Ima is reported to have scored the highest score ever on the stupidity test, a score never have thought to be possible unless one is brain dead, born without a cerebrum, or a supermodel. When asked where Dakota was in the United States, she simply replied, "You know, that big state in the west that's so big it has a North and South, much like that Virginia state that has Virginia and West Virginia" Coincidentally, Ima also could only recall 47 out of the 50 states (also inventing a new state called "Carolina").  <<FULL STORY>>
 

Men Clarify Previous Sex Study

CHICAGO (Just Laugh) - It was reported in a news story earlier last week that while older women still want to have sex, their male counterparts are often unable to make the deal worthwhile. Nonetheless, when these men got word of exactly how the survey went down, they had a little something to say of their own...

"What?!?!?!?" exclaimed one alarmed gentleman after reading said survey. "No, no, no...leave it to a woman to omit the most important part of the whole story!" spoke Bill Spacely with a rage of fury and confusion.  <<FULL STORY>>
 

Not Everyone Loves Lucy

HOLLYWOOD (Just Laugh) - After 50 years of television bliss, the Lucille Ball Foundation was finally dragged into court over the title of the show I Love Lucy. Since the show aired, the title has been accused of being responsible for at least 47 divorces, 33 break-ups, and one case of assault and battery with a loaf of French twist bread.

Mr. and Mrs. Hobgoblin were the first couple to claim that the classic sitcom's title broke up their marriage. As Mr. Hobgoblin remembers, "My wife, Purcy, asked me what was on my mind, and I was watching television so I simply responded 'I Love Lucy'. She proceeded to hit me with a frying pan and accused me of cheating on her with her Siamese twin, Lucy. A week later, divorce papers were drawn up."  <<FULL STORY>>
 

Tinman Broken-Hearted, Sues Oz's Wonderful Wizard

HOLLYWOOD (Just Laugh) - The wonderful Wizard of Oz isn't feeling too wonderful after the TinMan summoned him into court yesterday afternoon on a medical malpractice suit. The Tinman alleges that the heart the Wizard implanted into him was defective as it broke in half after his girlfriend broke up with him. The TinMan's ex-girlfriend, Dot Matrix (from the hailed movie Spaceballs), witnessed the incident. "After he got his heart, all he wanted to do was sit home and watch Touched by an Angel and Molly Ringwald movies. I couldn't take this sudden pussyfication, so I broke up with him. He started to cry and he was feeling severe pains in his chest. I thought he was making it all up, until the doctor did some X-rays. The doctor said his heart actually broke in half. The last time that happened was when I broke up with the Iron Giant after he popped my virgin alarm."  <<FULL STORY>>