A Glimpse
into the News...
3rd Annual Weenie Awards Have Humor Fans Tingling with Anticipation!
HOLLYWOOD (Just Laugh) - As summer comes to a close and everyone retracts from vacation-mode back to school, work, and pretty much anything that doesn't involve the beach, but the folks at Just Laugh magazine still have a few tricks up their collective sleeves to making this summer one to remember. That's right, it's time once again for the Just Laugh Weenie Awards! <<FULL STORY>>
Ringling Bros. Elephants Respond to Ignorant Activists
Vienna, Va. (Just Laugh) - After catching wind of another harsh animal cruelty suit filed against their employer, a statement released by a representative of the elephants' union not only disspells any allegations, but also aims to set the record straight and put animal rights activists in their place once and for all...
"Stop sticking your pasty noses where they don't belong!" was the message of dozens of circus elephants after hearing about the latest legal actions from the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. "We've got things pretty sweet here - we have a huge fan base, we get all the free food we can eat, and we get to travel the world - our buddies back in the wild envy us! Don't go mucking up a good thing - worry about your own kind..."
The ASPCA was not available for comment, but is said to currently be seeking out new charity cases including fire and police canines, Hollywood starlights, and anyone else who's lives they can disrupt through the miracle of the American legal system.
Another Quaid Gets Media Attention
HOLLYWOOD (Just Laugh) - Veteran actor brothers Dennis and
Randy Quaid have had their share in the
spotlight. But recently, a new Quaid has surfaced
in the media.
Al Quaid, the last of the Quaid clan, was
reportedly mistaken for a member of al Qaida in a
bar in West Hollywood. "His name mirrors the
terrorist group, which puts him up for scrutiny,"
said Dr. MacKenzie of UCLA. <<FULL STORY>>
Truth Revealed: God's Soft Spot for Gay Bishops
VATICAN CITY (Just Laugh) - It was noted on a brisk Tuesday afternoon that a slight error in the interpretation of the Bible has lead thousands of religious zealots to believe that homosexuality is a sin punishable by eternal damnation, while actually it turns out that God himself not only supports the lifestyle, but even has been known to play favorites to the gay community now and again.
Several powerful leaders of world religion, who have requested to remain anonymous, were truly stunned upon their own descents into the Holy Land this year as they found themselves faced with one of the largest all-male choirs they had ever seen. A few joined in, the rest cried, and ultimately all learned a grave lesson - the Lord really does love his Fruity Pebbles just as much as the rest of them...
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Updates:
08.06.03 - Are we having fun yet?!
Here we are now in the final month of summer, but it seemed like just too good of a time to cut off our Christmas in July celebration this early, so we've decided to bend the rules and carry on into the month of August, too! You don't mind, do you???
Of course, this also means that our huge giveaway is still running strong, so fear not if you've yet to see the Just Laugh prize van pull up in your driveway - there's still time to make you a winner! Congratulations to everyone who's collected prizes so far, and to everybody else - just get your name on one of those mailing lists and check your inbox 300 times a day until you get that winning e-mail...
It's also our pleasure to announce the return everyone's favorite online awards presentation with the 3rd Annual Just Laugh Weenie Awards coming up in our next issue! You can already check out all of the new categories for this time around via this press release, but if it's the real nitty-gritty that you're after, you'll just have to wait until August 27th for the nominees...trust us, it'll definitely be worth the wait!
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Reader's Poll... |
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A Walk in the Woods:
Rediscovering America on the Appalachian Trail
by: Bill Bryson
The famed traveler sets his sights on one of the longest hiking trails in North America, but 2100-miles is really a lot farther than it seems when you actually get yourself out on that trail!
Quite arguably the best book under his belt to date, A Walk in the Woods easily appeals to both kinds of people in this world - those who would honestly consider taking on such a feat and the rest of us who scoff and jeer at the complete insanity of the thought! Either way, it sure beats actually doing the walking yourself...
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